


Not the sort of thing you can imagine

by 14dinocats



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Psychic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 19:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19012231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/14dinocats/pseuds/14dinocats
Summary: AU where Carol and Maria have a psychic link and can speak to each other across the universe, even when Carol doesn't remember who she is.There’s people questioning their sanity, shared dreaming, believing a voice in your head above all else, spaceship theft, and photon powered girlfriends. Enjoy!





	1. Who is crying?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This ship is criminally underrated. I couldn't find the good fan fiction content that I wanted to read, so I decided to write some. 
> 
> It pretty much follows the events of when Carol first got taken to the Kree planet and then everything is different from canon.
> 
> If you are interested in helping me edit this or other work in the future pls hmm.
> 
> Also on ratings: there is some swearing and mentions of sex. I have no idea what rating that makes this?? Come to your own conclusions.

She heard crying. There was nothing else in her mind. No language, no identity, no fear, only the crying. It was the sound of someone who had been crying for too long but couldn’t stop. The second thing she understood was that it was painful. It hurt so much she wondered if the crying was coming from her. She opened her eyes to look for the person who was hurting, and she learned that she had eyes. This was quickly followed by the understanding that she had a body, and it was lying down. She thought she remembered having a body. She didn’t remember hurting so much on the left side of her neck, like a drill left a raw tunnel to her spine. She tried to move a hand to her face, to see if tears were coming from her eyes, but she found that her wrists were held down. Her ankles too were kept in place, and her waist, and her neck. She was fairly certain that she was not normally restrained like this, but found it difficult to care when the crying was still endless. The crying was so sad and all she wanted to do was make it stop. She looked around for the source of the noise. She was in a small, dark room with rounded metal beams crossing the ceiling and walls in a regular pattern that looked almost like the bars of a prison cells. There was only space for the bed she was tied to and a table against the wall, covered what looked like computers and medical tools. She also saw a bag of blue liquid, thick and bright, leading down a tube to the crook of her elbow. A stinging sensation told her it was an IV drip. It hurt to move her neck, so it took her a while to notice the window in the wall at her feet. She could see the forms of at least two people through the window, and flurries of movement that indicated several more. Was one of them crying? And why could she hear it so clearly? The crying didn’t sound like it was coming from the next room, it sounded like it was coming from the inside of her skull.

“Hello?” She called out. “Are you alright?”

Instead of calming the crying person, the question only made them more hysterical.

“Why are you crying?” she asked.

“Carol” the voice sobbed out.

Carol. Carol. The word sounded like a boiled candy melting on the tongue. But she didn’t understand what it meant.

“Hello patient.” Another voice burst into life. It was louder than the crying voice, but further away too. “You have been sick. We have brought you here to take care of you. Do you know your name?”

“Vers” said Vers, before she had a chance to think about it.

“Do you know what you are?” demanded the voice

“I am a Kree warrior” said Vers, and she knew it was true. Her planet, her people, the Skrulls, the fight against them that never ended. Vers remembered it all now.

“Why am I restrained?” asked Vers.

“The great intelligence has given you a gift. For the good of the Kree.”

“For the good of the Kree” Vers parroted.

“You are powerful now. And we thought you might be unpredictable while you were still waking up.”

Vers understood. She knew as much as she needed to know about herself. What powers she had been given would be explained in due time. What remained unexplained was the most important thing.

“Who is crying?”

“Carol, It’s me. It’s Maria.” The sad voice said.

“There is no-body crying.” The loud voice said.

“Maria” said Vers. “Maria. I know you. Where are you?”

The table under Vers began to tilt, a mechanical whirring shifting her so she could look through the window. There were many people looking at thin screens in the back of the room, and two people looking back at her. One of them, a man, had a bandage around his right elbow, like he had blood drawn. The other, a woman, held a microphone in her hand. They were conversing with heads together. They seemed concerned. Vers could see no-one who was crying, and she suspected that she was not supposed to be hearing Maria.

“I’m at home.” said Maria. “I’m in our home, Carol. I’m crying because I miss you.”

Vers tried not to move her lips as she whispered a reply. She would rather they didn’t see that she was talking to someone who wasn’t there. She would rather they didn’t take the voice away. “Are you real?”

“You’re the figment of my imagination, sweetheart. Not the other way round.” Maria said.

“Vers.” She could see the women through the window with the microphone at her lips. “Are you hearing voices?”

Vers swallowed. She couldn’t lie. They were Kree, like her. They were trying to help her.

“Just one voice.”

The microphone dropped from the woman’s face as she turned to her companion. The channel was still open and Vers could faintly hear her asking.

‘Is this customary on C-53?”

“Maria”. Vers whispered again. “I think you’re in my head. They’re going to try to take you out.”

“Oh my god I’m going crazy” Maria said.

“I want you to stay in my head.”

“Vers. The procedure has not worked correctly” the woman through the glass said. “Your memories are breaking though. You need realigning.”

“You’re going to take the voice away?” Vers asked. The woman wasn’t paying her any attention anymore. She was gesturing to the people at the screens.

“I don’t think hallucinations are in the five stages of grief.” Maria said.

“Please. Please don’t take her away.” The bed started to shift back to its original flat position, cutting off Vers’ view through the window. She began to struggle with her restraints.

“It’s Maria! It’s Maria! You can’t take her! Please!” Vers begged.

“Yeah, it’s me” the voice said from inside her. “I ain’t going nowhere, honey. Someone’s gotta keep this shop running.”

Vers felt a run of coldness from the drip in her arm. She felt her actions become less deliberate. Vers made fists of her hands and yanked against her restraints. There was a flash of light that her drugged mind couldn’t make sense of, and she vaguely heard a shouted order- “Get her under! Now!”

“Maria.” Vers managed to say while she was still awake, her eyelids shutting despite her fight to stay awake

“Yeah, Carol?” Maria said.

“I’ve gotta go now.” Vers said.

“Yeah. I know.” the voice sounded like it was going to cry again. “I love you, Carol.”

Vers could hear no other sounds, could not feel her body, couldn’t move her lips to reply. The last thing Vers lost awareness of was the voice inside her head that loved her.

 

*

 

**TWO MONTHS AGO**

 

“Mom, I missed the bus.”

Maria turned from the coffee drip to see Monica standing in the kitchen door looking appropriately ashamed.

“You missed the bus? Again?”

Maria would pretend to be angry for a minute, but the sight of her five-year-old with her backpack hanging down to her knees was too adorable for Maria to stay mad for long.

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I was saying goodbye to Mama but she was still asleep.”

“She’s not even awake yet?” Maria looked at the clock and did some mental maths. “Okay pumpkin, you go wait in the car, I’ll go deal with your lazy aunty.”

Monica giggled “She’s not my aunty. Carol’s my mama!”

“When I’m angry with her, she’s downgraded to aunty.”

Monica giggled again and started to make her way to the garage.

“Oh, wait- pumpkin?” Maria called after her. “At home she’s your Mama, what is Carol when you’re at school?”

Monica knew how to recite it. “At school, Carol is my Aunty who lives with us.”

“And where does she sleep?”

“Aunty Carol sleeps in the guest house out back.”

“Good girl. Get in the car!”

Maria poured a cup of coffee for Carol and didn’t bother being quiet as she knocked the door to their bedroom open and placed the coffee on Carol’s side table.

“Good morning. You’re late.” Maria said cheerfully. “You should already be showered by now.”

Carol groaned and reached for the mug as Maria started shucking her pyjamas and pulling on her work clothes.

“I’m dropping the kid at school. She missed the bus again.”

“Again?”

“Yeah. She’s learning her time management skills from you.”

Carol had no reply as she took her first sip of the coffee.

“I’m going to go straight to work after I drop her, I’ll see you there.” Maria leant over the bed to kiss Carol. Then headed out the door to her waiting child.

“Wait” Carol said, finally waking up “You’ll be at work way too early.”

“But if I came back here, I’d only have like 15 minutes before we had to leave again.”

“I can think of something we could do with 15 minutes.”

Carol smiled at Maria over her coffee.

“I also think Wendy’s been acting weird lately. I just want to make sure she’s alright.” Maria said.

“What do you mean?” asked Carol.

“She’s just been working all the time. You know? Like, more than usual. I want to make sure she’s been sleeping or whatever.”

“That’s good of you. You’re my hero.” Carol said.

“See you at work, baby.” Maria blew a kiss over her shoulder and closed the door.

 

*

 

“Wendy?” Maria called out as she pushed open the door to her mentor’s office.

Wendy had been on her third cup of coffee when Maria was arriving at the airfield every day for the last couple of weeks, and she stayed behind long after everyone else had left. She had always been a hard worker- they all were- but it was getting to the point where Maria wondered if she was looking after herself. When Maria asked what she was working on, Wendy wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“I don’t want to lie to you about the specifics.” she’d say “I’m trying to stop wars.”

The office floor was empty, with the work day not starting for nearly an hour. Wendy’s office was dark and scattered with papers, no signs of activity this morning. Maria thought the lab was the only other place Wendy might be, so she retreated up the hall and pressed the elevator button to take her to the basement. It always freaked her out down there, especially when she went without Carol in arms’ reach. There was a weird humming that never seemed to falter or end, and the flickering lights made it feel like a horror movie to Maria. She learned a long time ago how to pretend she wasn’t scared of the dark, so she squared her shoulders and made the walk to the largest lab at the end of the building- Wendy’s lab. The regular humming in the basement seemed even louder today. The sound swirled like a swarm of insects around Maria’s head. In the noise there was something else she could hear. Almost familiar. It was Wendy’s voice, but she wasn’t speaking English, or Spanish, or any other language that Maria had ever heard. The clips and vowels that Wendy’s tongue were making didn’t even sound like they came from earth. Maria stopped in the middle of the hallway, a couple of metres away from the faint blue glow that was creeping out from underneath the laboratory door. Maria wondered if there was someone else in there with Wendy, someone she spoke a secret language with. But as she strained her ears she could hear no other voice. It sounded like Wendy was talking to herself like she did when she was deeply focussed. Maria crept closer to the door. She didn’t want to eavesdrop but she didn’t want to intrude on whatever was going on. Maria was stuck in place, trying to decide between continuing or turning back, when she heard Wendy say what were unmistakably swear words. The humming noise grew louder still, and then Maria got hit by a train. Force flew through the doors and hit Maria’s body from every angle. She landed on the grey industrial carpet halfway down the hall and felt her body ring like a bell from the impact. Her eyes hurt to be open. They hurt to be closed. Every inch of her skin, every hair, was buzzing with energy, and it hurt like a bitch. Maria wasn’t able to do anything except lie there, being as still as possible, and to waiting for it to pass. She heard Wendy’s footsteps running to her, before she realised that hearing hurt too much. She surrendered to the pain that wouldn’t end.

 

* 

 

Maria woke up with the worst hangover of her life. She struggled with her eyelids to look around. She was in her room, in her house, on her side of the bed. It appeared to be the early afternoon, judging by the sun sliding through the blinds. The thing that was out of place was Wendy, sitting on a chair covered with Carol’s discarded clothes and reading a book.

“What...” Maria tried to speak but the effort made her brain burn.

“Oh good, you’re alive.” Wendy said mildly. “Just joking, I knew you’d be alive. I just didn’t know if you’d be brain damaged beyond repair. I guess I still don’t.”

The question of what had happened in the lab, why she was feeling like she’s been beaten with a taser, was almost overshadowed by the panic of having someone else here, in their room. A room which clearly was inhabited by two people. The books on Carol’s side of the bed, their clothes mixed up on top of the drawers, the feel of a space that had witnessed love, they were all unmistakable signs that Maria and Carol were not just friends who lived together. Wendy would know. Wendy already knew. And Wendy would fire both of them, and they’d have to move to a new town and enrol Monica in a new school when she’s only just started kindergarten, and they’d have to try to find new jobs that weren’t in the air force. Maria had to think of something to say to make this better. She had to say something now.

“Wendy” she began. “I have to explain.”

“No, I have to explain. There’s some things that-”

The front door slammed. Monica’s happy little voice trilled through the house, followed by a response from Carol that would have sounded relaxed to anyone else. Maria could tell Carol was worried.

“I told her that I took you to hospital and that she’d need to pick up the kid.” Wendy said. “I’m glad she did her part, because I clearly didn’t do mine.”

The bedroom door opened and shut. Carol leaned back against it, a hand covering her face. She wasn’t expecting anyone else in the room and hadn’t seen them.

“Carol” Maria said.

It was beautiful to watch Carol’s head snap up at the sound of her voice. Carol was halfway across the room, reaching for Maria, before she registered that Wendy was there and pulled up short, her eyes going wide. This was their space. This was the only room they never had to pretend, until now.

“It’s okay.” Wendy said. “I know you two are crazy in love.”

Maria wasn’t sure if it was the potential brain damage, but she had a hard time processing the simple way Wendy said it.

“It’s not that unusual, you know.” Wendy said “Where I’m from...My point is. I don’t care. Good for you. Go hold her hand, or whatever.”

Maria and Carol looked at each other and had a discussion with their eyes. Slowly, so much slower than Maria wanted, Carol sat on the bed next to her and found her hand. Realising that Maria was in no state to speak, Carol asked Wendy

“What the hell happened?”

Wendy took a deep breath and braced herself on the arm of the chair.

“I’ve been making a new type of engine. I mean brand new. I invented this technology and it-

“What happened to Maria?” Carol’s fingers were tight around Maria’s. She could feel Carol’s impatience. Wendy’s mouth turned down.

“The containment field had a fault. Just for a moment. Just a tiny part of the shield went down, and there was an explosion. And it hit Maria.” Wendy seemed to weigh something up in her mind. “I’m sorry.” she said.

Carol looked back down at Maria with concern between her eyes. She smoothed Maria’s hair off her face.

“So what happens now?” Carol said.

“Maria, you don’t seem to have any impact injuries, not even a concussion, so for the immediate future you’re not in any danger.” Wendy said. “This engine… It’s not like any other power. Anywhere in the universe, as far as I’m aware. With that much energy, I would be worried about DNA breakdown which could lead to cancer.”

Carol squeezed her fingers tighter

“But only time will tell.” Wendy continued “There could be impacts beyond anything we can even imagine. I really can’t say what’s going to happen. I’ll be monitoring you closely to see if any side effects pop up over the next few years. For now, our best bet is for you to get a lot of rest.”

Wendy stood and nodded to the room at large.

“I’ll let myself out” she said.

As the door clicked behind Wendy, Carol moved down to tuck her face into Maria’s chest.

“Don’t squeeze too hard. My brain hurts.” Maria grumbled.

“I was so scared.” Carol said. “She just said you were at the hospital and she wouldn’t tell me anything. And all day I was at work like nothing had happened, like I didn’t even care.”

Maria let her stay a while, let Carol hear that her heart was beating strong.

“I won’t scare you again if you promise not to scare me, okay?” Maria said after a few minutes.

“Deal” said Carol. She leant in to gently kiss Maria’s lips.

“Go to sleep. I’ll always be here.”

 

Two months later, Carol died.


	2. The birds only sing when you're listening

Carol dreamed she was standing beneath a wide sky. Clouds moved fast above her, and all around, the trees swayed in the summer wind. Carol was at home, on her farm. The house she shared with Maria was a hundred yards ahead of her. Carol knew that if she was hurt she would bleed red. She started walking towards her house. She listened to the sounds of the wind. When she wondered if there were any birds- they began to sing. She looked to the roads and saw that they were still. Not a single person driving by on this warm day. Carol saw Maria open the door of the back veranda stand at the top of the steps, hands on her hips, smiling gently down at Carol. Carol was strangely moved by how beautiful Maria was. It was as if they had not seen each other for some time. How long had it been? How did she get here?

“Hi honey, I’m home.” Carol joked, jumping up the steps to put her hands on Maria’s waist.

“And what took you so long?” Maria replied.

Maria kissed Carol like it was their first time kissing. Except it was better than any first kiss. It was too good. There was no bumping teeth or awkwardness. It was smooth, and so perfect it didn’t seem real.

“Wait-” Carol said “what are we doing? Anyone can see us out here. We should go inside-”

“- There’s no one else here” Maria said.

“What? There’s Mr Sampson just across the road, he could look out and-”

“He’s not there.” Maria said “there’s no one else in the whole world. Just me. Any you now.”

No one else in the world. No cars on the road, no Mr Sampson across the street. The birds only sing when you’re listening to them. Wait.

“Monica?” Carol asked, a salty hand clutching her heart.

Maria shook her head. “She’s not dead though. There are two worlds. There’s here, and there’s the other place. I can’t remember it well. Monica is there, she’s safe, but you…”

“Me?” Carol asked, knowing the answer. “Am I in the other world?”

“I think you’re dead. I can’t remember.” Maria looked away, blinking hard.

“Hey” Carol place a hand on Maria’s cheek and turned her head back to meet her eyes “I’m here. I’m not dead”

Maria nodded, she wiped her cheeks but couldn’t stop the tears.

“I know.” She said “but we don’t feel alive either.”

Carol pulled Maria close and tried not to think about how it was true. Usually holding Maria was like a meditation, but now it seemed like she was just imagining. Their bodies were only warm together when Carol thought about how they should be warm. The smell of Maria was a little too clean to be real.

Carol could hear her own heartbeat now. The scene she was part of began to look washed out.

“Don’t leave” Maria said.

“I won’t” promised Carol, even as she began to forget where she was.

“I love you” she tried to say, but the words didn’t make sense on her lips. Carol was gone.

 

 

*

 

She woke up. She was in the same room strapped down to the same table. Her mind came back quicker this time- Vers, Kree, the blue blood running into her arm, the power they gave her in her neck. Maria. Where was Maria? The sad voice in her head was not there anymore. The procedure must have worked. Vers couldn’t help but feel they’d taken not a voice, but some vital organ from inside her. When the woman with the microphone asked Vers if when knew anyone called Maria, Vers convinced herself she wasn’t telling a lie.

“No”, Vers said, “I don’t know anyone with that name.”

The woman nodded, pleased with herself. The straps holding Vers down were released, and she was led by the man to her quarters. He called himself Yon-rogg and sometimes he seemed scared of Vers when he looked at her out of the side of his eye. He showed her around the room- bed, window, washroom- and left her with instructions to find food and a promise that he would be back to train her. Vers heard the door shut with a thump. Then she waited for his footsteps to fade down the hall. Vers pulled on the door handle just to check it was closed. Finally, when Vers was very sure she was alone, she sat on the bed and put her arms around herself. Maria was gone. Maria was plucked from her brain. Vers wasn’t even allowed to be sad, because she shouldn’t have known about Maria in the first place. But now Vers was alone, so now, she would let herself mourn.

“Maria,” Vers closed her eyes and whispered in prayer. “Maria.”

Vers ran her hands up and down her own torso. It felt like a cheap imitation of… of something. Vers couldn’t quite remember what.

“Maria” she said again.

“Carol?” Maria said.

Vers jumped. Maria’s voice was tender, close, and entirely unexpected. Vers looked over her shoulders to check that Maria wasn’t actually in the room with her. She trusted Maria even though the other Kree did not, even though the only reason to trust Maria was the thought that she has always been able to trust Maria. Vers felt delighted that she could hear the voice again, and felt guilt for her delight.

“Hello? Carol?” Maria said. “Am I going so mad that my hallucinations won’t even answer back?”

“Maria?” Vers asked.

“That’s me”

“Who’s Carol?”

Maria took a long time to answer. Vers was worried that she was gone again, for good.

“... You’re Carol” Maria eventually said. “Don’t you know your name?”

Vers knew what her name was. She hadn’t had to be told, she just knew. She was Vers. Even though the word ‘Carol’ felt like a warm sweater, it wasn’t who she was. If Maria was wrong about this, maybe she was wrong about everything. Maybe Maria was wrong when she had said that she loved Vers.

“My name is Vers. I’m a Kree warrior.” Vers said “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you know me. I think you need to get out of my head.”

“Like shit I don’t know you.” Maria said. “Your name is Carol Danvers, not ‘Verse’ or whatever the hell you just said. I don’t know what a Kree warrior is. Last I heard you were a test pilot for the air force.” Maria’s voice was heating up, but it sounded like she couldn’t decide if she was angry or sad. “And I think it’s my head that you should be respectful of because I’m the one who’s still alive.”

“You think I’m not alive?” Vers asked. She wondered if she should be more upset at the idea she was dead.

“No... I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it.” Maria was desperate “please don’t leave, I don’t care if I’m going crazy.”

“It’s okay” said Vers. And it was okay. Even though Vers had no idea what was going on, she was okay because she had Maria.

“I’m just confused” Vers said. “I woke up I could hear you. I don’t think I’m meant to hear a voice. They’d think I’m going crazy if they told them.”

Maria laughed “Don’t you think you’re going crazy?”

“No,” said Vers “I think you’re probably from my past life”

“What, like reincarnation?” Maria’s voice was puzzled, and half laughing at Vers. It was so familiar. Vers could almost picture a nose scrunched up to make fun of her.

“No, not reincarnation,” Vers wondered where Maria was from if she didn’t know this “just the memories they took of my old life”

Maria was silent for a little while “What the fuck? I think you are going to have to go back to the beginning. You are sounding kind of loco-coco right now.”

“How dare you,” Vers said “I thought we were going crazy together.”

That made Maria laugh. The sound was a balm. Vers laughed too.

“I wish I could see you” said Maria. “I love your smile when you laugh.”

There was the word again- love. Vers didn’t know what to say for a long breath.

“Carol, you still there?” Maria called.

“I’m here. I was just thinking. I wish I could see you too.”

Vers put one arm around her waist and pressed her other hand to her own cheek. Half a memory formed of having done this before, of being held and sharing forbidden confessions.

_BANG-BANG-BANG_

The moment shattered.

“Vers!” yelled Yon-rogg from outside her door. “We’re beginning your training.”

“I have to go”. Vers told Maria.

“What? Wait, don’t-”

“I’ll come back soon, but I have to go now.”

Vers grabbed her training shoes and water bottle and rushed to the door, shutting out any thoughts of another life, of a women called Carol.

 

*

 

Maria’s mind went cold. She was back in her kitchen, on a regular Wednesday afternoon, two months after her best friend had died. Tendrils of smoke were rising from the pot on the stove. Maria hadn’t even noticed that she had stopped stirring. The ground turkey was black and crisp. Great. It was ruined.

“Mommy?”

Maria turned to see Monica in the doorway holding her nose

“That smells bad”

“I know, sweetheart.” Maria dumped the entire pot in the garbage and placed the empty pan in the sink.

“What do you say about having cereal and toast for dinner?” Maria asked, cutting her losses and getting a couple of bowls out of the drawer. She didn’t look at the bowl with the leprechaun picture on the bottom that Carol got when she was a child from winning a Lucky Charms write-in competition. The bowl that Carol got very defensive about if someone tried to use it at breakfast. The bowl that neither Maria or Monica had touched in the last two months.

“Cereal!” Monica cheered.

Maria gave herself a pat on the back for making her child happy.

“Mommy, were you talking to Carol?”

Maria immediately decided she was an awful parent for having hallucinations where her kid could witness it.

“Oh.” Maria started. “Oh, sweetheart. I just…”

“It’s okay” Monica said, her wide eyes sad and wise more than a five-year-old should have to be. “I’ve been talking to Carol too. She said she loves me and she loves you and she’s still thinking about us. What did she say to you?”

Maria was overcome with the need to crouch and hug her child.

“She says that we better eat vegetables tomorrow if I’m letting us have cereal tonight.”

 

*

 

Maria went to sleep in the bed she used to share with Carol. It was too big, and as cold as the ocean.

Vers went to sleep for the first time in her new room, in a strange bed. Yon-rogg had pushed her at the gym and she was exhausted.

They woke up sitting at their kitchen table, in their house that wasn’t real. The clock ticked when Maria looked at it, and stopped when she looked away. Carol was searching her face for something.

“Smile for me.” Carol asked.

“What?”

“I forgot what you look like when you smile. Please”

Maria tried to smile, really tried to put all her love into a smile. Carol smiled too.

“You still look sad,” Carol said “but I’ll take it. I’ll try to remember when I’m in the other place.

Maria reached for Carol’s hand underneath the table.

Carol took a deep breath and rubbed her thumb along Maria’s hand.

“I need to come home.” Carol said. “I don’t know where I am, but I’m going to come home.”

Maria nodded. “We need you,” she said “I really need you. I feel like I can’t breathe properly,” Maria gave in to the weight she had felt since Carol stopped responding over the radio two months ago. “And I’m going crazy, or I’m dying, but I don’t even care because you’re still here, and-”

“Shhhh, it’s okay.” Carol came closer and tucked Maria’s head into her chest. “I’m here.”

Carol let Maria cling to her. She massaged Maria’s head in the way she knew Maria liked. When Maria was ready to let go, Carol made them both coffee, and they got on with their day. Maria did the crossword with Carol looking over her shoulder and trying to help, but being only distracting. Carol sung incoherent lyrics while washing the dishes. The two of them went out to their vegetable patch and saw that all the produce was plentiful, even though it was not the season. The strawberries were bright red, shiny like plastic, and warmed from the sun. Maria pushed a berry into Carol’s lips, and loved the surprise in her eyes at the sweetness, loved the red stain on her mouth. Maria didn’t ask if it was real because she knew it was not. The whole world was a lovely lie except for Carol. The way that Carol’s jokes surprised Maria, the way she smiled with her nose and eyes, Maria knew that Carol was here. Maria thought that she would have to eventually think about how this was happening, if she was being visited by a ghost, or travelling in time, or if they were meeting in heaven. The option that she was going completely crazy crossed her mind, but wasn’t worth thinking about. I didn’t matter if Maria was mad, she was determined to enjoy as much of Carol as she was given. The whole world was blurry at the edges, so they learnt not to look too hard. They tried to talk about what was happening in the other place, the real world, but to was too hard to remember. They settled on the understanding that it was not as good as here, and they shouldn’t try to think about it too much. When the sky began to darken, Maria was the first to leave this time.

“Carol” She said, looking down at where their hands connected, but no longer able to feel Carol’s skin.

“You’re going?” Carol asked.

“I don’t want to”

“Say hi to Monica for me.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“I love you, I’ll see you soon.

“Carol!”

And Carol was alone in the dusk, wondering who she would be when she woke up.


	3. The face she'd dreamt

“What’s got into you, Vers?” said Yon-rogg. “You seem distracted.”

Today was the first day that he allowed Vers to train in the fighting section of the gym. She was deemed fit enough and trustworthy enough to start hitting out at a punching bag, with Yon-rogg standing over and offering directions. Vers had been asking for the opportunity to work in this half of the gym since she first woke up, a couple of days ago, but now that she was here, Vers was distracted. She had woken up that morning with the notion that she’d had an amazing dream, but she couldn’t remember what it was about. There was a face in Vers’ mind, a beautiful face. It made her chest feel tight to think about that face, but she couldn’t quite remember what it looked like. Vers was too happy to punch hard, and too sad to listen to Yon-rogg’s endless corrections. She did all she could to hide her distraction from him. If he thought she was acting weird, maybe he’d make her go back for tests or questioning, and they’d find out about Maria’s voice, and take her away.

“So? What’s going on” Yon-rogg crossed his arms and tilted his head.

Vers scrambled for a way to deflect the question.

“Uuuh” she started “I just… want to know about my powers.”

“Your powers.” Yon-rogg nodded as if he had been expecting this question.

“Yes! You said that the great intelligence gave me abnormal power, but nobody’s told me what type, you know?” Vers leant in to the deflection “And I’ve already tried all the normal superpower stuff like levitating, telekinesis, turning invisible. I can’t do any of it.”

He looked concerned again “What do you mean you’ve already tried it?”

“You know, I just closed by eyes and concentrated. I thought that might work” Vers said lamely, wondering if she’d dug herself a worse hole than she already had. Vers had a momentary impulse of wishing that Maria was here. Maria was great at calming down confrontations. She would just smile and laugh, and suddenly everyone was Maria’s best friend, and nobody was suspicious of her. Vers didn’t know how she knew that about Maria.

“Vers, I wasn’t told everything about your powers. That’s for the great intelligence to reveal to you in due time.” Yon-rogg said “I want you to attack the bag like your life depends on it, like it will kill you if you are weak. We’ll see if that activates it.”

Vers turned back to the bag and breathed deeply, psyching herself up. Vers balled her fists, tensed her leg muscles, and sprung. Vers lashed out, fist and knee and elbow and foot. Harder and harder punches.

“Are you afraid?” Yon-rogg yelled over her shoulder “do you really think you could die here?”

The adrenaline in Vers’ blood amped up, she pushed herself on, hitting again and again. Her knuckle began to split with the force but she kept hitting. Vers was shocked to see blue on her hand instead of red, but she shook it off, she had to activate her powers.

“Harder!” yelled Yon-rogg.                                                                 

Vers could see him standing behind her shaking his head. She was exhausted. Her breathing was so frenzied the air was tearing up her throat. She tried to imagine the lactic acid in her blood turning to adrenaline, turning to energy, turning into immense power. But Vers didn’t feel powerful, she just felt tired. Yon-rogg hit her in the back of the head, hard. Vers was on her hands and knees with sparks in her vision. An arm was around her throat. This was not friendly training, Yon-rogg was trying to cut off her airway. Vers struggled with what little energy she had left, scratching at his arm and trying to kick him, but he was out of reach. Vers’ lungs burned. She was desperate. There was a black curtain closing in front of her eyes. Vers stopped scratching yon-rogg, and instead put both of her palms onto his arm. The last thing she did before she died was push him away.

Yon-rogg hit the wall on the other side of the room and crumpled to the ground. Vers didn’t see it. Her face was pressed against the sweaty floor of the gym. Her mouth was open, panting. Vers heard herself whine in pain as the breath moved through her sore throat. Through a haze Vers heard a kind voice say,

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

A phantom hand pressed to her hair, someone checking that she was still alive. Vers had experienced pain before. It was awful, but not surprising. There was a new feeling, not in her throat but in her hands. It was like electrocution, but not painful. Just buzzing and bright and totally under her control.

“You did well, Vers” Yon-rogg sounded winded. “I needed you to panic so your powers would jump start.”

“That’s sadistic!” said the other voice “you choke her just to prove some point?”

Vers finally had caught her breath enough to push herself up to kneeling. She looked at her hands on the floor, burning blue and orange, spreading power up her wrists and arms. With a thought, she made them burn brighter. Electricity crackled around her. Vers looked up. Yon-rogg was a few metres away, leaning on a wall and wincing as he held his rib. Vers didn’t look at him, because the face she’d dreamt about was right in front of her. Maria crouched to Vers’ level, one of her hands was on her heart, playing with her dog-tags, the other was reached in an aborted motion towards Vers’ face. Finally, finally, Vers could remember what Maria looked like. The voice she had grown familiar with slipped back into a shape Vers could remember. Even though Maria looked concerned, she was gorgeous.

“I’m okay.” Vers said, because she knew it’s what Maria needed to hear, and because it finally was true. How could she ever have forgotten in the first place?

“Well I’m a bit worse for wear” Yon-rogg said “I think I might need better armour if I’m to keep training you”

Maria gave him a death stare filled with such hatred, it startled Vers. But she finally realised that the menace on Maria’s face was not all that was wrong. Maria was transparent. She was in the gym, touching the floor and breathing the air, but Vers could see through her. She also realised that Yon-rogg hadn’t even looked at Maria. She only existed from Vers’ mind. These hallucinations seemed to be escalating. Maria began to fade. The edges of her hair became indistinct, the whites of her eyes stopped existing. Vers had the odd feeling that she had watched Maria fade away very recently. Vers did the only thing she could think of, she pushed more power to her hands. As her fingers glowed, Maria became more opaque, her colours were brighter. Maria seemed to notice Vers’ hands with curiosity and fear.

“How are you doing that?” she asked, taking a step back.

“I don’t know.” Vers said “Didn’t you know that I had powers?”

Maria’s jaw dropped. “You never had powers before.”

“Yes, I knew that you had powers, I just didn’t expect you to be able to produce so much force” Yon-rogg was gingerly easing himself into a chair, he couldn’t seem to hear Maria’s words at all.

Vers tried something new, just because she was crazy enough already and really didn’t stand to lose anything. She took a deep breath, made her powers burn bright, and spoke to Maria in her mind.

“ _Are you really here?_ ”

“How did you do that?” Maria put a hand to her forehead.

“ _I don’t know, I just did. Try it._ ”

Maria raised a sceptical brow, and looked straight into Vers’ eyes. “ _Can you hear me?_ ”

“ _Yes!_ ”

Vers saw Maria’s brown eyes, and had the thought that she was looking at herself, into her own mind.

“ _How are you here?_ ”

“ _I don’t know!_ ” Maria shrugged. “ _I’m with you, in some sort of weird fight dungeon, but I’m also at home, in the garden_ ”

“ _Show me._ ” Vers asked. She could remember, in flashes, the blue sky, the vegetable patch, the way the house looked in the afternoon sun.

“ _I can’t. I don’t know how._ ”

“ _Just try. Feel the energy in your hands_ ”

“ _No_ ,” Maria said “ _I don’t know how!_ ”

Vers took Maria’s see-through hand from the air- she could almost feel it. Maria was quiet. She was watching where they were joined with reverence and sorrow. Vers waited for Maria to look back at her face. She didn’t need to say anything about Maria’s shiny eyes.

 _“Do you trust me?”_ Vers asked.

Maria didn’t hesitate. She nodded. She allowed a woman who couldn’t remember anything (but surely couldn’t have forgotten it all?) to spark a fire. Vers sent the tiniest push of electricity into Maria.Maria’s hands made fists, they glowed bright, and Vers was transported to heaven. They were behind the clothesline at the side of the house. White sheets swayed to Vers’ right, and the night stretched out to her left. She could smell the breeze coming across from the river, she could hear the crickets and frogs calling out. Vers could also smell the stale air-conditioning of the gym, and hear Yon-rogg ask,

“Vers? Are you in some sort of trance?”

“ _How are we in both places?_ ” Vers asked Maria in her head.

“ _How do I have magic powers?_ ” Maria asked herself, but Vers could hear.

Vers needed to get back to her quarters; somewhere more private for her to lose her mind. She managed to stutter out,

“I...I need to have a lie down.”

And then Vers was running down the halls, with Maria right next to her as if she’d been there before. And Maria turned back to the line to put a peg on the corner of a pillowcase while Vers pressed it to her face to remember the familiar smell of detergent. They were doing it all at the same time. Vers slammed her door closed behind her, she turned to Maria’s waiting gaze.

“I dreamt about you” she says it out-loud because she can’t find a reason not to “I dreamt about your face”

“I dream about you all the time” Maria says “What the hell is this magic?”

“They say that the intelligence gave it to me. I don’t know why you have it too.”

Maria closed her eyes and shook her head.

“The great intelligence? What’s that?”

It made sense to Vers now. Maria wasn’t Kree. She was some other race, possibly an enemy to the Kree. This is why they didn’t want her and Maria to talk.

“Where are you from?” Vers asked Maria.

“Uh… well I grew up in Louisiana, but now I’m-”

“No, I mean what planet. Where are you?”

Maria sat down on the edge of Vers’ bed. Maria sat down on the wooden bench under the lemon trees.

“I’m on Earth. Aren’t you on Earth?” Maria looked sort of hollow, like the idea had never occurred to her.

Earth. It sounded so familiar. Vers didn’t have to think to pull out some statistics.

“Is Earth’s surface 75% water, and the atmosphere mostly nitrogen?”

“Yep,” Maria said “that’s the one.” She put her head between her legs and let out a groan.

Maria’s hands lost some of their glow. Suddenly, Vers was in her bedroom, but only in her bedroom. Maria had stopped pulling her to the other place.

“Let me back in.” Vers said. “Use your power. Let me be with you there.”

“Carol, this is fucking crazy. I’m going fucking crazy”

“No. Well, maybe” Vers said “Please let me come there”

Vers nearly said _‘please let me come home’,_ but she didn’t think it made any sense. Maria groaned again, but gave in. She held her hands as far out from her body as she could, and made them bright. Vers felt the night breeze again, heard the flapping sheets on the line.

Vers sat next to Maria on the bed, on the bench in their garden.

“The Great Intelligence is our government, our president, our military leader.” She began to patiently explain.  “It’s basically a computer program that has all the knowledge in the entire universe in it, and works out the best ways to keep us, the Kree, safe. There comes a time in every Kree life when we must become warriors. For the good of the Kree. A warrior can’t be good if they’re always thinking about who waits for them at home, so we have our memories wiped. Not important things, like language and personality, of course. But the people you knew, where you’re from. It’s not important to become the best warrior, so it’s taken away.”

“That’s horrible” Maria said. She wrapped her arms around herself against either the night air or the story.

“Not really. Nobody really misses you because they get their memories taken too, when they become a warrior”

“But I miss you.” Maria sighs.

Vers was at a crossroads. The Kree law had rules against seeking out your past life, against making yourself a weaker warrior. To ask any questions is illegal and dangerous. Vers paused before she asked the question, not because there was any doubt that she should, just because she wanted to remember her last moment as a willing warrior.

“Are you my old life?” Vers asked. It came out more pleading that she had intended.

Maria’s arms tightened around herself, she wouldn’t meet Vers’ eyes as she nodded.

“I’m sorry I’ve forgotten you.”

“It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.” Marie said too quickly for it to be true.

“What were we to each other? Are you my…” Vers tried to find the word that fit how she couldn’t keep her eyes of Maria, how her heart stuttered when Maria had said _‘I love you’_ and how she yearned to hear those words again. There was no question what Vers felt about Maria

“Are you my wife?” she asked.

Maria’s eyes widened and she choked on her own breath. Then she started laughing. Vers worried that she had misconstrued the situation and that Maria didn’t return the same type of feelings. This panic was more painful than any fear of the Kree empire.

Maria spoke through her smile “I guess we are kind of married” she said “although we don’t use that word.”

“What word do we use?” Vers asked through a tense jaw, waiting for a blow.

Maria demurred “Depends who’s asking.”

“I’m asking. What word do we use?”

“Girlfriend” Maria said “Lover. Partner. I say ‘ _you’re my baby_ ’ and you say-”

“You’re my baby too” Vers cut in.

Maria’s eyes were wet with happiness. Vers said didn’t want to promise her something that she couldn’t give, s she searched for a subject change.

“Are you really not a Kree?”

“No. I’m a human. You are too.”

Vers raised her eyebrows. “Human. Never heard of them.”

Maria just laughed at her. Vers looked around the garden they sat in.

“I feel like I’ve been here before. I think I dreamt about this place.” Vers knew it was true as she was saying it.

“I’ve been dreaming about you too.” Maria said. “Every night. But I can never remember.”

“I couldn’t even remember your face, until now.” Vers told her

And because it was a beautiful night, and because they were in the privacy of her room, and because it felt as easy as blinking, Vers reached for Maria’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Maria held on just as tightly. With both of them glowing strongly, Vers could feel Maria’s warmth. Maria could feel the smooth skin on the back of Vers’ hand and the calloused ridges on her fingers. Maria’s heart felt like it had been pulled back from the edge of a cliff. The only thing she had wanted for two months had come true, and it wasn’t enough. Maria pressed herself into Vers’ side, and this, this was enough to let her know that it was real. Being close to another person is not the sort of this you can imagine. It’s impossible to remember in enough detail. Vers’ arm went around Maria’s shoulders, and a soft kiss was pressed to her hair as Maria turned her head to let her tears soak into Vers’ shirt. The two women glowed in the night. A memory pressed on Maria’s skull, of doing this before. The light, the comfort from Carol.

“I was hit with a blast of energy. Just a couple of months ago.” Maria said “it felt kind of like this. It hurt a lot at the time, but it’s sort of the same. These powers are... buzzing. It feels like it’s the same frequency.”

Vers was silent for a moment. Her hand stilled from rubbing small circles on Maria’s shoulder. “Why did you get hit with an energy blast? Who were you fighting?”

“I wasn’t fighting anyone; an engine’s containment field broke down”

“And the energy went into you? Could that be why you have powers?”

“I guess so.” Maria frowned “The other possibility is that the Great Intelligence came to earth and gave me powers while I slept.

Vers still had question “But why are our powers the same? Did I get hit with the energy too?

Maria shook her head- but then remembered the wreck of a plane. Maria remembered all the redacted words in an official report that hid what Maria could work out for herself- that plane was destroyed by more than just a crash landing.

“When you died…” Maria began, then had to pause for a moment to hide her wobbling voice. “When you disappeared from here there was a plane crash- but it was burnt up like crazy.”

“You think the plane engine exploded and hit me?”

“Yes but those planes don’t have engines with this kind of power, maybe Wendy had swapped it out. What was she doing?” Maria asked herself.

_Bang-bang-bang_

The moment ended, as every moment does. Vers and Maria held each other’s eyes, and came to an understanding that they would meet again soon.

“I’ll dream about you” whispered Vers

“You better” replied Maria, as they both let the glow from their hands fade.

“Vers!” Yelled Yon-rogg “We need to talk about your powers!” he sounded louder and angrier than someone with a possibly broken rib ought to.

Vers wasn’t in the garden anymore, Maria wasn’t in her room with her. It was time to pretend that she was nothing more than a warrior. Vers steeled herself, and opened the door.

 

 

*

 

“Mom!” Monica hollered from the back door. “I’m hungry.”

Maria stood up, wiped the daydream off her face, and yelled back “One minute, sweetie!”

“But I’m hungry!”

“Come help me hang up this laundry and I can get to you faster.”

Monica sighed like she was fifteen instead of five, and stomped out to Maria. She was too short to hang up clothes, so just handed armfuls of them up to her mother.

“Mom” Monica said in a voice that made Maria realise she wasn’t as tough as she tried to appear. “When’s Mama coming back?”

It wasn’t their first time having this conversation. The books Maria had read on children and grief had taught her that Monica might keeping asking for months, or even years. Maria hesitated. Every other time Monica had asked, Maria had replied with the gentle but unambiguous answer that Carol wasn’t going to come home ever. Usually it made Monica cry. Occasionally Maria cried where Monica could see too. This time, Maria hesitated.

“It’s just that I don’t have anyone to play with,” Monica said “and I know you miss her too.”

“Baby, I’m sorry but-”

“So I think you should tell Carol to come home, next time you speak to her”

“I don’t speak to her, not really” Maria said, very much aware that it was a lie.

“Yeah, yeah” Monica handed Maria the last sock in the basket “she makes better spaghetti than you.”

“Okay, missy,” Maria picked up the empty washing basket and held Monica’s hand as they walked back to the house.

“I’ll show you some good spaghetti.” Maria decided to be a bad mother, giving hope that she knew was crazy. “I’ll make spaghetti so good that your Mama’s going to come home for leftovers.”


	4. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise I call the planet "c-53" and also "p-53" at various points throughout this work. I only saw the movie once, and I don't care enough to go back and check which is correct. Please forgive the confusion.

After they fell asleep, they woke up in hospital. The waiting room was empty, there was no bustle of nurses at the desk. Maria and Carol’s thighs were touching as they sat on adjacent sticky green chairs. Maria recognised the room immediately. Carol was expecting that she would be at home, and was taken off-guard by her surroundings. Carol stood up and started strolling around the room, picking up magazines and flipping through empty pages, hitting the call bell at reception a couple of times.

“Where are we?”

This is what Maria had been dreading. This couldn’t be Carol if she didn’t love Monica. This woman had never mentioned her daughter in all their imagined conversations. This was proof to Maria that her hallucinations needed to end.  

“Don’t you know? Don’t you remember?” Maria said.

“Well, it looks like the waiting room in the obstetrician department, but it’s so quiet.”

A flicker of hope bubbled in Maria’s chest.

“You know about-?”

“When I first drove you here, remember how you told me to wait in the car?” Carol was smiling as she told the story “And I was so stupid, and so in love with you, that I came to sit in here, and I played with the Rubik’s cube on the kids’ entertainment table and I hoped you wouldn’t be angry.”

“Why would I be angry?” Maria asked.

“Because you were pregnant, and I thought you clearly liked someone else an awful lot. A man someone.”

“I’ve told you many times, I only had sex with him to try and get over you” Maria was smiling too, remembering her perfect little mistake.

“And remember the second time I drove you for an appointment, and you said I could come in the building and wait in here”

“And you took it as permission to sit in the room and hold my hand through the ultrasound? Yes, I remember.”

Those first few months of pregnancy had been so terrifying, more than Carol probably realised, even now. Maria had been sure she was about to get kicked out of the air force, she had no way to get in touch with the father, and she was in love with her best friend. Carol had been almost unbearably kind to Maria. She read pregnancy books, never judged how Maria got into this mess, and held back Maria’s hair when she vomited, which was often. If Maria felt Carol stroking her hair just a little bit longer than necessary, she told herself she only wished it happening. Carol came to every appointment with Maria, and in the last months even started sleeping on Maria’s couch so she could look after her night and day. Sleeping on the couch became sleeping in the same bed, which became Maria lying in agony because she was convinced that Carol would realise that she was too much and leave. Instead, Maria got Carol’s voice in the delivery room being the only thing that convinced her she wouldn’t die. Carol was first person so hold Monica, and when her eyes had welled up with tears, Maria knew that Monica had found her second mother. It took Maria and Carol a while after that to say it to each other in words, but being exhausted platonic best friends who are parents of the same child really isn’t that different from being exhausted parents who love each other in every way.

“Thank you.” Maria said

“For what?”

“For being there with me when I was so scared.” Maria took a deep breath. “That’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

Carol’s eyes were soft and smiling. “It was entirely selfish,” she said “I didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.”

“That must be true, because even when you’re dead you’re stilling coming around here to bother me.”

“On that note” Carol said “I’ve been thinking. it’s got to be the blast energy.” Carol said

“What?”

“At first I thought we were connected just because I love you, but I love Monica too, just as much, and she’s not here.” Carol shrugged “so it has to be something else that only the two of us have been through

“Like a blast from Wendy’s engine.” Maria said.

“Exactly” Carol sat back down next to Maria “I love being right.”

“Doesn’t happen to you very often.” Maria teased.

“Hey!”

“Have you thought about what happens next?”

“Well,” Carol clearly hadn’t thought about that at all “I guess I thought we’d just practice out powers and then eventually I’d be able to teleport home for real.”

Maria patted Carol’s hand.

“That’s a cute plan.” she said “I think we’re going to have to get your body back here for real though.”

Carol’s face fell. “I don’t know how-”

“They took you from earth to wherever the heck you are in a spaceship of some kind, so they’ll have a space ship that can make the return journey. And if I recall correctly, you’re something of a pilot, Miss Danvers.”

“But I don’t know where to go!” Carol said.

“Buy a map, do some research! You’re smart” Maria felt herself begin to wake up. The colours of the waiting room were less complex than they had been a minute ago. This wasn’t right, there was something she needed to say. It was difficult to think, like a dream.

“And when the Kree chase me to earth because I stole their ship?” Carol asked, pretending to not see Maria fading away, pretending not to be scared.

Maria made her hands light up. She brought them up to Carol’s face, which was now unclear to her mind, only the idea of something beautiful.

“I know two pretty powerful people to fight them off”

With her last second in the dream with Carol, Maria leant in and pressed their lips together. It was only a faint whisper of energy, gone before Carol opened her eyes, but it meant everything. Carol laughed out loud, alone in this room with no words in the magazines, a remote that didn’t turn the TV on. She thought about holding her daughter for the first time. Carol made the same promise every parent makes, and almost all of them break at one time or another. _‘I will never leave you.’_ Carol had broken her word; she had left her child missing her. But not for much longer. Carol laughed as the room around her faded from existence. She was going home.

 

 

*

 

Carol woke up knowing who she was. Carol remembered her daughter and her home. In this sterile alien room, she began to make her plan.  It was easy enough to find a computer. They were way faster than anything she had seen at home. Carol navigated the search criteria, 70% water, nitrogen atmosphere, intelligent life. It took Carol a moment to recognise it- the north of the planet wasn’t at the top of the picture- but the colours of blue and green were achingly familiar. P-53. The name didn’t ring any bells, but the shapes of the continents were unmistakable. How to get there? Carol navigated to the distance information. Her mind boggled. 40 light years away. It equated to only 19 hours in the fastest Kree spacecraft. Carol knew she was being watched. She was too powerful to be set free. They would have seen what she was looking for as soon as she sat down at the computer, and they’d be coming to wipe her again. It wouldn’t be long until someone came to check in on Carol. A little chance meeting from a fully armed warrior. Carol decided to hurry them along; she made her hands light up. Maria faded from nothing into the room, standing right next to Carol at the computer.

“ _Hey, baby._ ” Carol said through their minds, no need to move their lips.

“ _Coordinates 58106- 3945J, can you remember that?_ ”

“ _What are they for_?” Maria said

“ _Just tell them to me, and tell me that you love me._ ” Carol said “ _I’ll come home to you, I promise._ ”

Footsteps. They slowed down as they approached. She let her hands relax by her sides, let Maria fade away, even as her voice stayed.

“ _What are you talking about?_ ” Maria said “ _Of course I love you._ ”

Carol turned, casually leaning on the table to confront her visitor.

“Hello, Vers.” Yon-rogg said.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Just broadening my mind.” Carol answered, trying to play it all off as a joke “There’s so much to learn you know.”

“ _Maria, you should go. I don’t want you to have to hear this_ ” She said without speaking

“Vers,” Yon-rogg’s voice was icy. “There’s some things you’re not supposed to know. We’re very disappointed in you. We do this for the good of the Kree.”

“ _What are you talking about Carol? What’s going on_?” Carol hated how scared Maria sounded; hated that she was the cause for that fear.

Yon-rogg took a threatening step closer “Say it, Vers. _For the good of the Kree_. Say it!”

Carol lifted her chin and held his eyes, saying nothing that he could hear.

Yon-rogg nodded and the room filled with people. Warriors armed and poised. It was time to fight.  Carol took a deep breath and pushed all her power through her hands. A spark emitted in the direction of the warriors, they ducked, but none of them were injured. At the other end of the room, Carol was doubled over in pain. Her neck was like a livewire attached to her brain, short circuiting every function in her body. She cried before she could stop herself, and instantly regretted it. Carol didn’t want Maria to hear and worry, this wasn’t her fight. It hadn’t been painful to use her powers before, something must have changed.

“ _What the hell is going on there_ ” Maria asked “ _Are you alright?”_

Hands clasped Carol roughly by the arms and began dragging her towards the door, back to a prison cell.

“ _My powers aren’t working._ ” Carol thought through the pain and fog. “ _There’s something in my neck, it hurts when I try. It’s like it’s stopping my powers._ ”

“ _So get rid of the thing in your neck!_ ”

Carol thought of Monica, put a hand to the healing wound on her neck, and ripped it away. As quickly as the security could reach for their weapons, they were blown against the walls by a blast of yellow power.

“ _Oh my god that worked!_ ” Carol yelled.

“ _Of course it did!_ ” Maria said. She was standing there, next to Carol, where she always should be. Half spectral, totally real. “ _I told you it would. Now find a spaceship._ ”

Carol set off running down the corridor, with Maria close behind. She chose her path at random, planning to find someone to question about the location of the spacecraft bay. She had only gone a few paces when a siren sounded from all around. Red and orange lights flashed overhead. A thick metal door in front of Carol creaked and slammed down, blocking her path. Carol turned back, but a metal door blocked the hallway behind her too. She fired up her electricity and burned a fireball through the metal. It only took two seconds before she was skipping over mangled, white hot chunks of the leftover door. She rounded another corner to find herself face to face with ten warriors, all pointing mean guns at Carol.

“Stand down!” the captain yelled, but the wobble in his voice gave away his fear.

Carol smiled at Maria. Maria smiled back. The guns twitched.

“I said stand down!”

Carol lit them up. Their guns whirled through the air. Carol stepped over the unconscious warriors towards the captain, who had flown the furthest down the corridor. She picked him up by his collar and held him against the wall. His eyes were rolling back and he smelt like he had pissed himself.

“Where’s the spacecraft hanger”

The captain’s eyes focussed on Carol’s face, but it only made him shiver with fear.

“Answer me!” Carol slammed his head back against the wall. She heard Maria gasp next to her. The captain lifted an arm and pointed, his lip quivering.

The sound of marching armour came from down the hall behind them.

“Let’s go.” Maria said.

They took off in the direction the captain had indicated. He was good to his word. They came upon a hanger in chaos. The sirens and alarms blared. People were running back and forth, trying to close and secure the hanger doors, to lock the ships, or just to run away from a terrifying power. None of it mattered. Carol could have escaped even if the Kree had been given a weeks’ notice of her plans. Maria and Carol’s pilot’s eyes quickly saw the ship that would be fastest, hiding between two larger cargo vessels. Carol ran past several terrified engineers who she didn’t even bother fighting. Yon-rogg’s voice radiated staticky over the loudspeaker.

“Don’t let her get to that ship. FOR GOD’S SAKE, SOMEBODY STOP HER.”

He was becoming hysterical. Carol jumped into the open door of the jet and settled into the pilot’s chair. The doors of the hanger were closing fast; they wouldn’t be able to get through without burning them up. Maybe there was another way. Carol put on her headset and broadcasted straight up to the control booth, where Yon-rogg would be.

“Open the gates.” Carol said. “And I won’t destroy this entire building.”

“Vers.” Yon-rogg sneered. He sounded sweaty and angry. “You’re running away. You’re too weak to face us-”

“Yeah, cool. Open the gates or I’ll kill everyone.”

Maria nodded at Carol. They listened and waited. Yon-rog was yelling at someone else in the control room

“No, don’t. She won’t kill anyone, she’s weak. No. No! Don’t!”

But he was too late. The gates stopped in their path and began reversing, creating space for Carol to manoeuvre her ship out. She fired it up with a satisfying rumble, and shot forward way faster than any earth plane she’s ever been on. Carol hollered with exhilaration as the g-force pressed her back into her seat.

“What were those coordinates again?” She asked Maria. As she pointed the nose towards the sky. Maria hollered and jumped and watched the ground outside the window shrink away. Carol kept her eyes forwards, on the place where the blue sky would become dark space shortly. She suddenly became very aware that she was a pilot, not an astronaut.

“This is insane.” Carol said to Maria. “I don’t know how to fly this.”

“Why are they flashing?” Maria said, pointing to several buttons on the dashboard that were lighting up.

“I have no idea. I am not at all qualified for this.”

“Uh oh.” Maria said “I think I can see something wrong.” She was watching a missile fly from a base on the ground. It’s arch was smooth through the air and heading right for their plane. It was fast. Even faster than the spacecraft. Carol panicked.

“I don’t know what to do!” she said “Does this thing have weapons? I don’t know how to evade.”

“There’s no time!” Maria said.

Maria leaped across the cockpit into Carol’s lap. She tried to wrap herself around Carol as the missile hit.

Carol’s head was protected, tucked in close to Maria, but that didn’t stop the noise. It was the sound of everything at once, coupled with the burning red of the spacecraft melting around them. Carol was glad that Maria would be with her for her real death. She closed her eyes and held on tightly, waiting for the pain. It never came. She might have been half an instant or a year. Carol’s face was scrunched up and she was surrounded by Maria. Confusing thoughts flashed through her head. _Am I dead? I don’t remember dying. Did I forget dying?_

“No,” Maria replied “You’re not dead. Open your eyes.”

Carol opened her eyes and lifted her head to see Maria glowing golden. Carol realised she was glowing too, her power burning all through her body. Carol could see the horizon curving far behind Maria. They were in the sky, floating, miles above the surface of the planet.

“Looks like we can fly.” Maria said, giddy with surprise.

“We’ve always been able to fly” Carol laughed “I didn’t ever expect to do it without the planes”

From the ground, they saw more missiles launched in their direction, making elegant trails of smoke behind them. Carol didn’t hesitate. She flew towards them and kicked them out into space, laughing. But the Kree had more. They could shoot at her all day, and she could resist them all day. I was fun for a while, being powerful, being strong, having Maria cheer her on as she easily won wrestles against these weapons. But Carol wanted to hear Maria laugh in person, wanted to feel her heat up close. She turned to Maria.

“I need to get to you.”

“Then come on.” Maria said “What are you waiting for? You can fly, baby. Fly on home.”

“I don’t have any navigation equipment. And I can’t breathe in space.” Carol sighed “I’m going to need to go down there and get another ship.”

Maria held her arm.

“We’re in space right now. And you’re not dying, let’s go.” Maria flew upwards. Towards the sun, into the blackness above them. Carol followed. They flew up until they were floating too high for the missiles to reach them. They watched them fall slowly, then faster, back to the ground, before they eventually stopped firing.

“How will I find you?” Carol asked.

Maria’s hands glowed, and they were in their bedroom, in their house, on their home planet. Maria was already in bed, under the blankets. And there was another small form huddled beside her, Monica. Carol’s eyes welled. She would give anything to be here for real.

“Come to us.” Maria said.

Carol crawled onto the bed next to the two of them. She put her arm around her daughter’s sleeping shoulders and rested her head in Maria’s neck.

“This isn’t enough.” Maria said “Come to us.”

“I don’t know how.”

Carol closed her eyes. She felt the love from her family, so far away. Carol reached out further. Using her energy to scan across the solar system, and out across the galaxy, for the other end of the same signal. It was easy, in the end. A pigeon flying home because it’s the only thing it knows how to do. Carol opened her eyes and she was in the stars instead of her bedroom. Maria was beautiful in the shadow and light of space. Carol wanted to lean in and kiss her, but knew that she wanted the real thing even more. The power they shared called Carol across the stars, she knew exactly where she was going.

“I’ll see you soon.” Carol said “I’m coming home.”

Maria smiled as Carol flew away. She stroked Monica’s hair and felt like she could breathe for the first time.

 

*

 

Carol landed as the sun was rising. The world was already bright, the birds and cars had woken up and were moving, making noise. But the sun wasn’t yet rising over the horizon into the pale grey sky. It had only been a few hours of traveling through the void of space, but Carol had missed breathing air. She landed at the end of the street and took a few deep breaths, to remind herself that she knew what to do with oxygen. The silhouette of her house was visible at the end of the road. She knew Maria would be up, in the kitchen making porridge for Monica. Monica might be at the kitchen table, finishing up her homework, or maybe she’d be upstairs in her bedroom, organising her books. Carol walked slowly down the street. She had no rush, she had nowhere else to be. The remaining parts of her brain that were Kree fell away as she opened her front gate and heard its familiar squeal. She saw Monica’s discarded bike by the door and smelt Maria’s rose garden. The flowers were larger and more fragrant than when she had left this house the two months ago, on morning of a plane crash. Carol heard the radio playing and Maria humming along from in the kitchen. The front door was locked. Carol resisted the urge to speak into Maria’s brain, it would have been easy from this distance. Carol wanted to make sure that this was real, not just an extended sequence in her mind. She rang the doorbell and waited. Maria stopped singing. The radio turned off. The seconds when Carol could hear footsteps down the hall seemed to last for hours. And suddenly Carol was in front of her best friend. They were in the same space for real, not as a projection or an imagining. Maria looked as amazed as Carol felt. After so long of wanting to reach out and not being able to, Carol didn’t know what to do. Maria’s face seemed to light up and fall apart at the same time. She grabbed Carol and pulled her close. It was more perfect than Carol could ever remember an embrace being. Maria’s choked up breath was in her hair, her old worn t-shirt was soft under Carol’s palms, and the smell of Maria was memorized anew. These things were too subtle to be remade in a dreams.

“I was worried I was going crazy” Maria whispered.

“Me too” Carol said.

“Are you still worried?”

“No.” Carol pulled Maria inside and closed the door, so they could get closer without the neighbours seeing.

“This is real. I couldn’t make this up.”

Maria’s hands were in Carol’s hair. Carol’s hands were on Maris’s face. And they were kissing softly and fiercely. Maria had been to Carol’s funeral, and now she was getting a second chance to kiss her. Carol barely knew who she was, but she knew Maria, and she loved Maria.

“Mama?” a small voice called from the bottom of the stairs.

Carol’s heart almost broke with the weight of the sound. She turned to see Monica in her pink pyjamas holding onto the stair bannister.

“Hey baby” Carol said, crossing the floor and scooping her child into her arms.

Monica’s small limbs wrapped around Carol’s torso

“I knew you were coming back,” she said “I knew it.”

Carol was facing the other way, but she knew Maria was laughing on the inside, and wiping away a happy tear before Monica could see. She heard it when Maria decided that Monica wasn’t going to go to school today, long before she said it out loud. They made plans for a special waffle breakfast without speaking, and decided to wait and see where the day would take them after that. They had time. If the Kree tried to come for them, they would fight, and they would win. Tomorrow Carol would go to work and let her colleagues’ faces go white when they saw that she was alive. Carol would tell everyone she lost her memory and be careful to never bleed where anyone could see. Today, though, today belonged to her family. On her first day after coming back from the dead, Carol carried her kid into the kitchen and started making waffles with her wife. She would always know how to find her way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for getting this far! I hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
